Life's Musing

             It's the 6th day from the official start of my Pre-residency training in Obstetrics and Gynecology. Today I just got home from a post duty after my second 32 hours straight duty. I didn't know I'm this tired, in the real essence of being, until I arrived home and process all the things that had happened the past few days. In these 2 episode of straight 32 hours duty from the start of my pre-residency training, I've been receiving devastating news in the middle of the night about our close and dear relatives' sad passing into the afterlife. I get shock whenever I read the news but it seems subconsciously while I'm on active duty I was like on pause of processing very emotional moments/events of my life because of the demand and anxiety that I'm in while on my duty for if I will I might suddenly crumble. But whenever I get home, I tend to get so emotional and I just suddenly cry uncontrollably for a few minutes because it's like my brain just start playing the very emotional and sad event which occurred and it's now the time to process it. It's just really heavy in my heart too. I guess it also adds up to the toll of stress I feel due to my pre-residency training. 

              This event in my life reinforce a life lesson that I should always be kind to people because you may see them smiling or doing great in whatever they do trying to keep all things together and it seems like nothing wrong is going on but deeply that person is struggling with a lot of things. Hence, always be kind and understanding. You may not be great and smart but see to it to make yourself be the kindest and most understanding person you know you want other people to be towards you. 

            A lot of things happen in life. We have to learn to accept and move on forward. It doesn't mean to say that you shouldn't process and feel the emotions you should be feeling. You shouldn't even feel guilty about feeling them. Just experience it fully for eventually that's one of the ways you'll get through it. Always be kind and understanding. Don't be too hard on yourself. Know there are a lot of people who will be there for you.